The emotion of love has been the most written about emotion, what now can one add new to the dialog of man’s attempt at trying to understand. Yes, we are still trying, haven’t found those vocabulary to describe the emotions, what it stands for and what it expects from oneself. It remains till today one of the strangest, misunderstood emotion. May be it is the limitation of the language that gives words and meanings to what a human feels, yet being short of actually describing it a way that emotions can be transferred from one to another.

Love is initiated per se as desire of senses. Desires as the most naive and core of the emotions a human has, fulfilling them creates an utmost passion and drive. Senses at the medium via which a human intakes all the input given to it by the environment around. They are the organs of human body whose sole purpose is to respond to external stimuli by conveying them as signals to the brain.

Dictionary meaning of Senses states a sensory faculty, feeling, sensation, perception; and then outlines the five types of senses humans are stimulated by i.e. sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell. Love is the feeling that cajoles and creates the utmost desires in those senses. The desire to see the loved all the time and that too happy and smiling; desire to hear the voice of loved all the time and that too cheerful and passionate; desire to touch each and every ounces of loved through every stimulating organ of ours fingers, nose, lips, face;desire to taste with bite and smooches showered on the loved; desire to smell the body odor and any smell that may arise from loved.

It is all those desires of senses that one seeks as the feeling of being in love. Once in love, the desires are on full control of ones action, driving passion towards expression and indulgence of sense in any which manner. Love of this form is as pure as it can be, one who has experienced it lucky enough to do so. One must enjoy it while it lasts, as it does not last long. Most often it is the responsibilities that were there, always there, yet forgotten and back-benched among all the thought mind could give time to. Desires have a tendency to lead to addiction as too much of anything seems not enough to satisfy. Love as a desire of senses, can never satisfy, the act of stimulation can be only be fulfilled by being stimulated over and over again. Thus when the responsibilities come forth, one has to take stock of where these desires stand with respect to ones own responsibility to self, of the life dreamt for and ones responsibilities to people around and society in general, of the life duty bound to be lead. Sometimes these come together in a plan that works out the best for everyone around. This is when most love marriages happen. One may argue that it may be too early but it is never to early or late, it’s just when life works it way out.

Love marriage is not a culmination but beginning of ability to fulfill desires whenever and wherever, but acknowledgement of ones new joint responsibilities of being recognized as a couple, the responsibilities to each other, of giving enough space to each other to find and perform them while supporting one another as much as possible and the responsibilities of people around and society.

I believe this negotiation of desires and responsibilities leads to the path of transcending  love from desires of senses to understanding of souls. Understanding the person as a whole means requires looking away from self desires and seeing the loved as another human with may be similar or different desires and responsibilities. This transition is where love becomes eternal and sustains itself across the ups and downs of love.

It is not necessary for the transition to happen after love marriage, but chances that being able to truly spend time with loved, free from obligations of society is something will take time within Indian Society. For western world, this is common and almost a un-written law that people will live together for years to wait for this re-affirmation that the loved is really the life partner. But we will focus on indian society for now, as a comment on western society and its ups and downs will require a separate and interesting post in future. I will only say that life is not so rosy and cosy on the western front.

The transition requires time and space to spent together, only then one will see the loved outside the sphere created by the desire of senses. Time when senses are not sensory enough, yet responsibilities must be dealt with. Time when the loved will think and manage loved’s own responsibilities. Time when one will seek a space of responsibilities to one’s own self. Time when society and people loved will need attention and effort. All those moments will happen, chances are will lead to conflicts, and requires utmost patiences to begin the understanding of soul of the loved.

LalaLand is the way I believe one can live ones life. It is most serene and calm place of living, where life has no or minimal responsibilities and time is only for indulgence on desires. One may wonder if ever there is this utopian land, but it is not a place but state of mind and heart to be lived through while being alive. It is in Lalaland that love as desires of senses is found. Ones state of being in Lalaland.

It is difficult to come out of Lalaland, one can lead ones entire life in it, adjusting the state to keep a balance, performing the minimal to ensure the existence. Then there are those who are thrust out of it by force of nature and there are those who grow out of it when they start acting mature. One may think, being innocent, is living in Lalaland, but it is not the same. Lalaland is the way of living while being innocent or acting mature are momentary actions performed on specific events. Though living in Lalaland, one will have the tendency to being innocent, yet they may still act mature in specific circumstances when required.

Where I am today, is difficult for me to judge. I love the thought of Lalaland, wish to live there if possible, yet once one acts mature in more than certain occasions, Lalaland looses its shine. The satisfaction of fulfilling responsibilities to one’s self, ones loved ones and society, creates stronger sense of purpose of life and helps to understand what life is about. I believe life is like this only, it is not a Lalaland. Pain and sorrow are part of it, so are joys and happiness. Does that make one more important then another, definitely not. Dealing with desires and satisfying responsibilities are essential functions of life.

One may wonder what happens, when love starts from understanding with a little stimulus of desires. It does happen with age, one may end up encountering loved not with desires but with understanding at first. In those cases, the loved will still need the stimulus of desires of senses even though the Lalaland is left behind. It may not happen for the Loved, but it will happen.

That is the paradox of love, desire it only will not make it last, understand it first will make its desire wither away.

Love can only go so far, transcending to understanding from senses is a must, it is a way of breaking out of Lalaland, to seeing the world clear enough to begin understanding the loved. If not then Love will wither away as senses stimulated far too many begins to numb them needing deeper and harder simulation. Numbing of senses will happen, it gets transitioned to the love of understanding, love of acknowledging, love of communicating, love of respect.

Respect and love are never talked about in the same breath but as love becomes understanding of soul, it requires one to respect the loved more than desire the loved.

Is it too much to think about love, ask people loved to desire but also understand? Sanity is not statistical but when world around believes you to be too much of a thinker, time comes to make a call, be a thinker or a jester. Sometimes, life makes choices for you that are not in your control.

At this crossroads I think about the fakir who said to himself in a moment of emotional despair:

“I will not love again, I will not understand. Welcome to Lalaland!!!”